A Kooky Weekend
by BetterNotStumble
Summary: Lincoln wins a trip for his whole family to Happydale Heights, where the Addams Family live.
1. Chapter 1: The Louds

It was a very slow day in the Loud House.

"Why is everything so boring?" moaned Lynn, who had seemingly had run out of ways to amuse herself- an impressive feat considering all the sports she played and all her own invented versions of them on top of them.

"I think we're just all in a rut" answered Lori. "I don't even get excited when Bobby sends me cute texts right now and it sucks."

Almost everyone in the house seemed to be affected.

Luna's usual shredding was replaced with a very weak strumming.

"Why did the chicken cross the road?" Luan said in a near monotone. "Because he wanted to cross the road."

Lana was just lying on the ground on top of Lola, possibly because they were wrestling, but Lola didn't even seem to have the energy to get loose.

Lucy was nowhere to be seen, not even bothering to show up to surprise the other siblings anymore.

Lily was sleeping and so was the normally industrious Lisa.

Even Mom and Dad Loud were going out of their minds.

The only ones unaffected seemed to be Lincoln, who had spent the last few days eagerly waiting for something, and Leni, who had yet again gotten lost on her way to the kitchen and found a treasure trove of wonderful clothes. Lori didn't even have the energy to quarrel about the fact that Leni was once again stealing her clothes.

It was at that moment that Lincoln burst through the front door.

"I won it!" he yelled. "I won the Normanwear Magazine's Underwear Quiz!"

"Not to bust your bubble, li'l bro, but that doesn't sound all that amazing." Luna answered.

"Don't you see?" Lincoln exclaimed. "You've all been in this funk for days because we haven't done anything different in a long time! The prize for winning was a weekend in Happydale Heights with food and lodging paid for, and of course a tour of the Normanwear Factory."

"Sounds great except for the tour" Lori remarked. "But what is there actually to do in Happydale Heights?"

"I don't know." Lincoln said with a shrug. "The only things I could find out about it except Normanwear is that a billionaire Sumo Champion lives in a mansion there. I just think we need a change of pace."

"That Sumo Champion sounds interesting," Lynn said. "I'm in!"

"It's better than nothing, right kids?" Dad Loud chimed in. "Happydale Heights, here we come!"

If anyone disagreed, they were too disinterested to even say no.


	2. Chapter 2: Norman Normanmeyer

The Louds arrived in front of Normanwear in Happydale Heights early Friday morning, both parents opting to take the day off.

They were greeted by a tall man with a big gut, who seemed slightly startled at the size of the Loud family.

"So you are the Loud family?" he asked. "The name's Normanmeyer, Norman Normanmeyer, CEO of Normanwear. Welcome to our happy little town."

"Nice to meet you too, Norm!" answered Dad Loud, but quickly corrected himself when he saw "Norm"'s eyes narrow. "Er, I mean, Mr. Normanmeyer, sir. Never been here before!"

The CEO then turned to Lincoln. "So this is the little underwear expert? I didn't think anyone but myself could get all those questions right!"

Lincoln felt a strange mix of pride and embarassment, he wasn't really shy about his knowledge about these things, but having someone loudly declare him an underwear expert felt odd. It didn't help that most of his sisters couldn't help but snigger.

"Talent like yours is rare" Mr. Normanmeyer mused, then leaned in and whispered to Lincoln, "I may have a position for you on Normanwear when you're old enough to work."

Lincoln was stunned, but at the same time felt a bit awkward. Mr. Normanmeyer's big smile seemed a bit disconcerting to the boy, as was the man almost entirely ignoring the rest of the family and putting all his focus on him.

"Um, Mr. Normanmeyer, when is the tour?" Lincoln asked, hoping for a way out.

"Actually," Mr. Normanmeyer answered. "It's not until Sunday. I know it was meant to be today, but we had a little accident in the factory and it won't be fixed properly then. I'm afraid you'll have to amuse yourselves for now!"

"I guess a brief wait won't hurt!" Luan burst out. "Get it?"

There was a collective groan from the family, but most of them couldn't help but smile a bit.

"Lincoln said there was a Sumo Billionaire living in Happydale Heights!" Lynn said excitedly. "Mr. Normanmeyer, do you know if he's in town?"

"Lynn, even if he is, he'd literally never let a whole family just walk into his house!" Lori answered. "At best we'll get to see his mansion or something."

"Aw man, that stinks." Lynn pouted.

"The only billionaire in town is Gomez Addams, and he's always open for any visitors; He lives just next door to me." Mr. Normanmeyer said. "But you shouldn't go there anyway, the man's an insane eccentric!"

However, the man's warning fell on deaf ears as the Loud children exclaimed their excitement about getting to visit a billionaire.

As the Louds turned to leave, Mr. Normanmeyer grabbed Lincoln's shoulder and said, "You better be wary, my future vice president; Gomez's family is trouble."

Lincoln broke free of the uncomfortable grip and started to walk back to the rest of his family. He didn't really feel comfortable around Mr. Normanmeyer, the man seemed a bit obsessed with him.

Seeing the Loud family leave, the CEO turned to his nearest employee. "I want whoever thought that not including one of those 'a family of four' disclaimers was a good idea FIRED. This family is gonna cost much more than this little PR trick was meant to do!"


	3. Chapter 3: You Rang?

After quite a bit of time driving around Happydale Heights, the family finally found their way to the billionaire's home adress.

"I can't believe we didn't ask Mr Normanmeyer where it was!" Mom Loud exclaimed. "We could have saved ourselves quite a bit of trouble."

"Nah, let's just think of it as us having a tour!" Dad Loud answered. "I mean, Leni and Lori had a pretty good time back at that mall in town."

"They had some really nice new blouses!" Leni chimed in, waving around a bag full of them.

"And I got that really cute keychain for Bobby." Lori dreamily added, looking at it with a loving gaze.

The rest of the family shuddered a bit at the key chain. It was just a yellow face with a smile, but that smile was a bit on the unhinged side.

It reminded Lincoln of Mr. Normanmeyer.

"Uh, you guys sure this is the place?" Luna said as they parked their van close to the given address. "Cause that house looks like a haunted mansion."

Lucy perked up. "Let's go. We have to visit it, whether it's the right place or not!"

With that, the little girl exploded out of the car towards the building... only to be caught almost immediately by Lori.

"You can't just rush into someone's house like that" Lori sternly told her sister. "We need to see if there's even someone home. They might be working, we have no idea how this guy makes money."

The Loud family slowly walked the path towards the front door.

"Oh, cool!" yelled Lana and pointed behind them. "They got a crocodile!"

In a second, the whole family where at the door of the mansion, with Lana scooped up in Mom Loud's arms.

"Aw..." Lana groaned as her father rang the doorbell.

The loud noise of a foghorn deafened the whole family.

"You rang?"

A giant of a man had answered the door, and before the Loud family could even get a word out, he had grabbed all thirteen of them and shoved them inside.

"Why, Lurch, this is quite the group of visitors you've brought in" a tall, gaunt woman spoke. "I'm Morticia Addams, and I welcome all of you to our humble abode."

The Louds all needed a second to find their bearing, but Mom Loud was the quickest to respond.

"Nice to meet you Morticia, I'm Rita Loud and this is my family." She spoke and introduced them all.

"Dudes, this place is like a museum!" said Luna, who had ran further into the house. "They have statues and paintings and everything."

Lori shuddered as she looked around. "More like a haunted house if you ask me." she muttered to herself.

"Wicked." someone responded.

Lori jumped high into the air.

"Lucy, don't scare me like that." She yelled, as most of her siblings chuckled.

"Is this house covered in dust?" Lola said with disgust.

"It is? Sweet!" answered Lana with a big smile. Lola just sighed in response.

"Cara Mia!" a voice rang out. "I see we have a lot of visitors today. It is a delight to welcome you all here."

The voice turned out to belong to a short man who nonetheless seemed to have an impressive physique under the pink pinstripe suit he wore.

"Tish, how rare it is that we get this many people in a single visit." he exclaimed as he almost flew around shaking the Loud family's hands with seemingly boundless energy. "And so many kids. Wednesday and Pugsley will love it!"

"Everyone, this is Gomez Addams, my husband." Morticia spoke.

"I thought he'd be fatter!" Lynn exclaimed loudly, then covered her mouth as her mother gave her a stern look.

"Is it true you won a sumo tournament?" Lisa said, looking at Gomez with a bit of suspicion. "You don't seem to have the build for it..."

"I have the prize to prove it!" Gomez responded jovially. "Lurch!"

As if on cue, the butler pulled out a trophy with a golden sumo wrestler on top.


End file.
